Time Magazine celebrates Mothering

Yesterday the mothering post went viral. I have read a few tidbits on why this is so "hot", and definitely sure that Time is going to make a bundle off of that issue. Personally, I am going to be running into Chapters to snap that issue up just for the cover photo. I haven't really been into magazines the past few years, mainly because I can get most of that content online and I'm not a fan of gloss and advertising (some of you may find that funny, seeing that I'm working on a project at the moment). I see the issues every single day, because I'm immersed in mothering culture. I choose to do that, be it being a social media cow or whatever you want to call it - grazing and chomping and chewing the cud for as long as my gut needs it to be chewed, and either spit out or dumped in a large patty onto my poor husbands ears (the poor guy, has to listen to everything and then some). I think that there are reasons to celebrate this image - and, another image of a gangsta-like midwife that came across my desk yesterday. I think it is time to celebrate that there are women who are beautiful and strong who are connecting with their children between whatever it is they do. I think we got lost in our feminist movement when we threw all of our trust into Nestle and our mothers (some who did not breastfeed for their own reasons) or aunts or grandmothers even. I have more family who breastfed their babies and a real mix of working and staying at home. It seemed to fit in different times and places that the women in my family were hard workers at home and out of the home. My baba had a large garden and small livestock, raised nine children, and is probably rolling in her grave knowing that her great granddaughter relies on her husband for the gourmet gardener/cooking and even the laundry. In her age, men smoked and drank and worked their hands into blisters, and made damn sure they were good at cards and shooting pool (and probably throwing fists around as needed). How times have changed - but I feel pretty empowered that I can still manage to hold breastfeeding up to the same standard as my great grandmother. It may be a romantic notion that my grandmother still remembers breastfeeding (she would have been five or six). Was it driven by poverty? Or was it a social norm? I think it was probably both - formula was always expensive, and WalMart didn't exist. Would they have wet-nursed another baby for a neighbor or relative? I would think so, but I don't think it was something that was shared or discussed or shouted from the rooftops. I heard on CBC's The Current this morning two pundits - one who was likely a fan of the homeschooling gen-x'ers, and another woman who was disabled and agreed that attachment parenting is anti-feminist. All I keep thinking is that heck - I am what some people may call disabled (I have a chronic back injury), and I'm still able to enjoy what both worlds have to offer. I'm slightly selfish in that I spend 90% of my time with my kids and 10% of the time partying (and I estimate about 70% of the time complaining about feeling anchored and not able to do the amount of partying I'd like to do). I do think that attachment parenting has saved my children's lives at one point or another. Had I not breastfed my first child, we may have been in grave danger of her being abused as well as me. I don't know that I would have survived that element of life and gone to school had I not worked hard on that bond and wanted to do better. With my second, we dealt with severe colic and a high needs child - breastfeeding and co-sleeping likely saved my husband and I from being awake 90% of the time. It sucks sharing a bed - it wasn't always pleasant and warm and cuddly and lovely, I had to lay with my chest exposed for her demands to be met (sometimes contorted), my husband got kicked in the head regularly (or face or back or groin even), and in pregnancy (let me tell you), it was probably the most irritating thing I could ever experience. I don't hate my children, I don't hate attachment parenting philosophy - the only time I may get to be with my kids is during night time or during breastfeeding. I couldn't imagine parking them in containers 20 hours a day. Why have kids? As much as I say I like to party, I spend the entire time out talking about my children or my work, and usually talking about work difficulties usually links directly back to my kids! In my opinion, it's really time to celebrate mothers and the fact that mothers can do both things if they want. You don't have to home school to be an attachment parent. you don't have to breastfeed for that matter, but you should feed with love and companionship. Like I have been saying consistently - being attached to a breast doesn't work for some people (I get that), but it shouldn't be work to get help if that's what you want to do. Be it said, it's easier to go out and buy a pack of smokes than it is to pay for a lactation consultant. We are on the cusp of a public health crisis of lifestyle disease in North America, and we'd rather yell at the screen at a photo of a woman feeding a child with breastmilk than we would point the finger back at the big formula companies and their minions. I guess what I am saying is that Nestle wins when mothers are critical of each other. Why should I try if I can't even go out into public without being told to cover that shit up? I'd rather celebrate the art and appreciate the difference and fight for a right to do WHAT is right.